Wishes

I want to grow wise

Without growing old

I want a future

Instead of a past

Someone to miss me

Like I’m missing you

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Wishes

Truth (2019)

Fiction is easy. Even if it’s inspired by real life, it can go wherever you want. You can start with a story told at a party or a newspaper headline or a misread email or even a half-heard comment on a train. If real life turns left and your story goes right, it doesn’t really matter. A story (or, at least, my stories) are just words and thoughts that gush out onto the page because they have nowhere else to go. I can start with one tale and then realise I want to tell a different story or, sometimes, decide that I don’t want to tell parts of it at all.

But when it’s true. That’s different. Difficult. It’s not up to me anymore. I can’t just go off on a tangent when it gets hard, emotional, upsetting. I have a responsibility. I’m a historian instead of a minstrel. History may be written by the winners, but what do you do when there is no winner? When it’s not about a war; it’s about people. People I love.

You (I) just talk. I talk about what I know or remember or feel. Or believe. And all 4 of those things are the same; it doesn’t matter whether it’s belief, feelings, memories or knowledge because they’re all real to me and they all feed into why I love(d) these people.

But then I stop. Just short of a full confession. It’s reminds me of a lyric from the first concert we went to: “I don’t want to say I love you – that would give away too much.” It’s hard to be that open. Exposed. Defenceless. It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s also so precious and fragile that I’m scared to show anyone else in case it breaks.

Truth (2019)

Look (2018-26)

I’m not meant to look

So I closed my eyes

But I could still hear

The chill in those cries

The wind blew my hair

The cold scratched my cheek

The screams and the howls

The pounding of feet

I don’t want to look

I don’t want to know

The cold turns to heat

I just want to go

Somewhere far away

Asleep in my bed

Is that where I am?

It’s just in my head?

I take a deep breath

I open my eyes

Prepared for the look

But not for the light

Look (2018-26)

Choices (2018-23)

What would a rhino like to be?
Given the choice,
What would it choose?
Would it be a pilot?
Flying around the world?
What would a squirrel like to be?
Given the choice,
What would it choose?
Would it be a cowboy?
Riding on the range?
What would a tiger like to be?
Given the choice,
What would it choose?
Would it be a doctor?
Saving people and lives?
What would a magpie like to be?
Given the choice,
What would it choose?
Would it be a diver?
Diving down for pearls?
And what would you like to be?
You have the choice.
What will you choose?
Choices (2018-23)